Everyone has a dash. It starts the very day you are born and ends the day you die. They are all different, like snow flakes or finger prints. Each unique and as varied as the person who bares it. It's the DNA that was is your life.
For those of you that are looking on your person for a dash, maybe you should not procreate.
Life experiences dictate what your dash ultimately becomes. If you don't accept what you are, your dash will try and mimic someone else. You know what? you are you, I am me. How many of us spend years or even our entire dash trying to be something other than what we are? I have. If you are honest with yourself, you will have to agree.
God made me in His image. I suppose He would know what he is doing. But we tend listen more to the world around us as opposed to the world Creator. We then become what we were not meant to be. When we do that, we cheat ourselves and the world. If we were all the same, life would be boring, and we would really be like ants. Going through life setting up the next generation with what we did and living off the previous.
I've heard some interesting dashes, maybe that's why I enjoy talking with older people. The stories you hear! And remember the greatest generation? Those warriors from the past that gave their all with what they had to once again put tyranny down. They had interesting dashes, stories we will never hear. Most didn't talk about what they did. They did what they had to do, came home and took up life.
They are leaving us now at an accelerated rate. The dashes are all they leave behind.
I will continue working on my dash. I want it to be a long one. One that is interesting to me. If you are reading this, our dashes have probably crossed, or maybe collided. But we survived it and our dashes continued.
I miss some people who had their dashes shortened by either illness or stupid. Perhaps both. But they will be in my memory until the day my dash ends. On that day, I want a celebration of what my dash was. Of what was overcome and what was a success. Not a day of talking about unfinished books, cluttered garages or vacations not taken.
It is after all, MY dash!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Value: The measure of a man, or woman
How do you value others? Really, how is your perception of you fellow man measured. What makes this person of value to you?
According to Merriam-Webster:
1val·ue noun \ˈval-(ˌ)yü\
Definition of VALUE
1
: a fair return or equivalent in goods, services, or money for something exchanged
2
: the monetary worth of something : market price
3
: relative worth, utility, or importance
4
: a numerical quantity that is assigned or is determined by calculation or measurement
5
: the relative duration of a musical note
6
a : relative lightness or darkness of a color : luminosity b : the relation of one part in a picture to another with respect to lightness and darkness
7
: something (as a principle or quality) intrinsically valuable or desirable
Of all the definitions listed here for the noun "value" which one would you pick? Does you definition of "value" have more to do with what someone brings to the party in the way of goods and services for exchange with like kind and quantity? Or are you more interested in the amount of money one happens to be in possession or control of?
Non of these really sum up my definition of "value", I look more to what we can give to each other not so much in terms of goods, services or even gold and silver, but to what we can be for each other. I wrote of my friends a couple days ago and that is something that I value. I can't put a price on that friendship, or what my friends bring to me. I shutter to think that I even bring anything to the party worth more than a tinkers damn. But it's a relationship that is of more value to me than any goods or services.
Can you put a price on have a shoulder to cry on when you are down? A shoulder that doesn't seek compensation or even expect it. But one that knows that when the tables are turned, a shoulder will always be there. Someone who values you enough to listen to what you have to say. Who knows that bad things happen to us all and it just happens to be you this time but is willing to stand in the gap for you. No, those things are without price, yet they have value.
Can you imagine seeking out a relationship with someone by asking "What's in it for me?" What do you bring with you that is of value? I have a valuable relationship with Jesus. I love Him. I'm not worthy of His love or even His friendship, yet, I have a relationship with Him. I bring nothing but myself to this one, and He values me. He actually died for me once. That's how much He values me. You have to admit that is a lot!
We all seek out that which will enrich our lives, we are human. We like shiny things with buttons! Loud, fast and smokin' hot! Valuable things. Big houses, cars, boats and whatever the latest gotta have it is. We tend to look at people the same way; pretty is good. Tall and handsome makes us smile. Big bucks? Come right on in! And we all have plenty of friends as long as we're buying. Not much value in that if you want my opinion. Looks fade, money is fickle on it's best day, and anything new is used a day later.
What I value most are the things that cannot be bought at any price. A happy family is hard to find these days because everything has a price. I would love to have a couple kids that I could nurture and teach. They bring nothing to the party but themselves, but they are priceless. A woman that devotes herself to raising these kids to me would be priceless. Forgoing any personal gain to rear her offspring is worth more to me than all the nannies and cleaning services in the world! Pretty valuable if you ask me.
I would like to say we all have some value, but we don't. Some are takers, never giving anything and when you run out of things to give, they move on to others. Not much value to me. Judging those that have little but themselves to give and not willing to accept it. I'm glad Jesus didn't feel that way about me. I value you, and I know you do me.
According to Merriam-Webster:
1val·ue noun \ˈval-(ˌ)yü\
Definition of VALUE
1
: a fair return or equivalent in goods, services, or money for something exchanged
2
: the monetary worth of something : market price
3
: relative worth, utility, or importance
4
: a numerical quantity that is assigned or is determined by calculation or measurement
5
: the relative duration of a musical note
6
a : relative lightness or darkness of a color : luminosity b : the relation of one part in a picture to another with respect to lightness and darkness
7
: something (as a principle or quality) intrinsically valuable or desirable
Of all the definitions listed here for the noun "value" which one would you pick? Does you definition of "value" have more to do with what someone brings to the party in the way of goods and services for exchange with like kind and quantity? Or are you more interested in the amount of money one happens to be in possession or control of?
Non of these really sum up my definition of "value", I look more to what we can give to each other not so much in terms of goods, services or even gold and silver, but to what we can be for each other. I wrote of my friends a couple days ago and that is something that I value. I can't put a price on that friendship, or what my friends bring to me. I shutter to think that I even bring anything to the party worth more than a tinkers damn. But it's a relationship that is of more value to me than any goods or services.
Can you put a price on have a shoulder to cry on when you are down? A shoulder that doesn't seek compensation or even expect it. But one that knows that when the tables are turned, a shoulder will always be there. Someone who values you enough to listen to what you have to say. Who knows that bad things happen to us all and it just happens to be you this time but is willing to stand in the gap for you. No, those things are without price, yet they have value.
Can you imagine seeking out a relationship with someone by asking "What's in it for me?" What do you bring with you that is of value? I have a valuable relationship with Jesus. I love Him. I'm not worthy of His love or even His friendship, yet, I have a relationship with Him. I bring nothing but myself to this one, and He values me. He actually died for me once. That's how much He values me. You have to admit that is a lot!
We all seek out that which will enrich our lives, we are human. We like shiny things with buttons! Loud, fast and smokin' hot! Valuable things. Big houses, cars, boats and whatever the latest gotta have it is. We tend to look at people the same way; pretty is good. Tall and handsome makes us smile. Big bucks? Come right on in! And we all have plenty of friends as long as we're buying. Not much value in that if you want my opinion. Looks fade, money is fickle on it's best day, and anything new is used a day later.
What I value most are the things that cannot be bought at any price. A happy family is hard to find these days because everything has a price. I would love to have a couple kids that I could nurture and teach. They bring nothing to the party but themselves, but they are priceless. A woman that devotes herself to raising these kids to me would be priceless. Forgoing any personal gain to rear her offspring is worth more to me than all the nannies and cleaning services in the world! Pretty valuable if you ask me.
I would like to say we all have some value, but we don't. Some are takers, never giving anything and when you run out of things to give, they move on to others. Not much value to me. Judging those that have little but themselves to give and not willing to accept it. I'm glad Jesus didn't feel that way about me. I value you, and I know you do me.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Sometimes, you have to deal with it!
There are times in our lives when we have things happen that only we can do something about. Some things can't be delegated or just ignored any longer. It's uncomfortable at it's very best and we don't even want to think about it at it's worst. "It" has it's own meaning to each person and my "It" may pale in comparison to your"It".
You can tell me how you would handle my "It" and it may be the right thing to do, but you are not walking in my shoes and know what I know about what is behind the curtain of my "It". You can say that "It" isn't that bad and to just suck it up and deal with it! Strong words from someone who is not in the game. Free advice is worth every cent! But sometimes it will cost you a fortune. Or a lifestyle. Sadly, it has cost lives before. You hear about support groups for different causes so you think there are people there to help, and there are some. Trouble is, the heavy lifting is left to the individual. No one can remove the "It" from the room but you.
Some things were never talked about in the first person so when we are blindsided by our "It", we don't know what to do! We seek out the "experts" and they are no help at all. So what do we do? Are we going to try and remove the "It" from our lives? Or are we going to become overwhelmed by the circumstances and just live with our "It"? Should we nurture our "It" so that it will grow and mature into a totally unmanageable beast? Let it be the center of our lives forever? Become our master? I can't answer that for anyone and I will not even try. I thank you for your input on my "It", and I will give your insights careful consideration. However, the fallout is mine alone as it is with your "It".
It's gut check time. These are the best options and this is the short term ramifications. This is how life as I know it will change forever and this is how the future will look if I take the "It" and kick it to the curb. This is what will happen if I keep the "It" alive and well. Either way, it will be uncomfortable, it's just that one is a known and one is an unknown. That dreaded fear of loss of anything far outweighs the joy of possible gain.
I pray that your "It" is handled the way it needs to be.
You can tell me how you would handle my "It" and it may be the right thing to do, but you are not walking in my shoes and know what I know about what is behind the curtain of my "It". You can say that "It" isn't that bad and to just suck it up and deal with it! Strong words from someone who is not in the game. Free advice is worth every cent! But sometimes it will cost you a fortune. Or a lifestyle. Sadly, it has cost lives before. You hear about support groups for different causes so you think there are people there to help, and there are some. Trouble is, the heavy lifting is left to the individual. No one can remove the "It" from the room but you.
Some things were never talked about in the first person so when we are blindsided by our "It", we don't know what to do! We seek out the "experts" and they are no help at all. So what do we do? Are we going to try and remove the "It" from our lives? Or are we going to become overwhelmed by the circumstances and just live with our "It"? Should we nurture our "It" so that it will grow and mature into a totally unmanageable beast? Let it be the center of our lives forever? Become our master? I can't answer that for anyone and I will not even try. I thank you for your input on my "It", and I will give your insights careful consideration. However, the fallout is mine alone as it is with your "It".
It's gut check time. These are the best options and this is the short term ramifications. This is how life as I know it will change forever and this is how the future will look if I take the "It" and kick it to the curb. This is what will happen if I keep the "It" alive and well. Either way, it will be uncomfortable, it's just that one is a known and one is an unknown. That dreaded fear of loss of anything far outweighs the joy of possible gain.
I pray that your "It" is handled the way it needs to be.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Friends....
I know a lot of people. I literally know hundreds of people. I say I know them but when I see them, I have to shuffle through the mental Rolodex to try and remember the name of who it is I'm talking to. I know people that I buy things from, I do things for, owe money to or hire on a temp basis. I know them. We are not friends.
I have a little over 100 Facebook friends. I'm funny about who I friend. I know most of them personally from some time in the past. Most of them were classmates and now, almost 40 years later, we are "friends". Some are work related and some just seemed interesting. That's cool. I like thinking that we are but in reality, we don't know each other.
I hold friendship in really high regard. I have a very narrow definition of the word. I have 2 very good friends. These friends hold my trust and I theirs. It's a bond that cannot be broken for any reason. That's why we are friends.
We didn't set out on a coarse to become such friends but common interest and life made us so. I like that. I like having someone I can talk to about almost anything. They know me better than anyone else in the world and I know them as well. There isn't a competition between us, there is respect and love.
We all lead separate lives and have different hopes for the future, but we are in each others corners. Moral support is rampant. Shoulders are always there and the words are constantly flowing. I just spent a weekend with one and we talked about everything for 2 days! I was a soul cleansing that we both needed.
These 2 people are my family. I love them both and they me. We are good for each other and will for all intents and purposes, will always be bonded by the river of life we all are floating on. Most people think that if they know someone, they are friends. That is true to an extent, but to really know someone like I know these 2, and the way they know me, that takes the meaning to a level few people experience. Some never experience the depth of the relationship we have, I am fortunate to have 2 people that I am proud to call my friends. I am a blessed man for the experience.
Thank you for being my friends.
I have a little over 100 Facebook friends. I'm funny about who I friend. I know most of them personally from some time in the past. Most of them were classmates and now, almost 40 years later, we are "friends". Some are work related and some just seemed interesting. That's cool. I like thinking that we are but in reality, we don't know each other.
I hold friendship in really high regard. I have a very narrow definition of the word. I have 2 very good friends. These friends hold my trust and I theirs. It's a bond that cannot be broken for any reason. That's why we are friends.
We didn't set out on a coarse to become such friends but common interest and life made us so. I like that. I like having someone I can talk to about almost anything. They know me better than anyone else in the world and I know them as well. There isn't a competition between us, there is respect and love.
We all lead separate lives and have different hopes for the future, but we are in each others corners. Moral support is rampant. Shoulders are always there and the words are constantly flowing. I just spent a weekend with one and we talked about everything for 2 days! I was a soul cleansing that we both needed.
These 2 people are my family. I love them both and they me. We are good for each other and will for all intents and purposes, will always be bonded by the river of life we all are floating on. Most people think that if they know someone, they are friends. That is true to an extent, but to really know someone like I know these 2, and the way they know me, that takes the meaning to a level few people experience. Some never experience the depth of the relationship we have, I am fortunate to have 2 people that I am proud to call my friends. I am a blessed man for the experience.
Thank you for being my friends.
Monday, September 5, 2011
The awakening
I've seen the light of day and felt the promise of tomorrow. Hard to do these days, especially for me in light of the current economy but I have a reason to be optimistic.
Let me explain if I can; I have found freedom and happiness and it's funny that they are walking along hand in hand. It's funny because I've searched for either of them for years but have never been introduced as of yet. Maybe it's turning 52 a while back or just the fact that I don't take life as seriously as I did a few years ago.
This is a high water mark for me. It's always been stay as focused as you can, usually not very well, go beyond expectations and deliver beyond any promise made. That takes it's toll on you after a lifetime and you finally reach a point of no return. A point of just saying I can no longer make the thing work anymore. I am losing a big part of me just trying to live! And there are not that many years left for me to live!
Regrets? Oh hell yes! I have a stack of them, and it pisses me off to think that I can never replace those with some sort of effort to rectify them. I don't need to go into specifics, it's sufficient for the moment to just say they exist. And they growl at me from time to time saying "Hey boy, how'd that work out for ya?" Knowing the answer is "Not to good."
Well, last week I realized that I need to have a little more me time. I have 3 steadfast rules for living that I pass on to others when they have problems; they are:
1. You cannot make someone happy. I'm not talking about telling a joke or being light hearted and jovial, I mean, you cannot be responsible for the lifetime joy of another human being! Happiness is elusive and runs and hides with whatever emotional spams hits another. We do what we can to be happy and cheerful to others, but we cannot make them happy.
2. You cannot make someone healthy. Not talking about curing diseases here, chronic health conditions exist and must be lived with, managed or accepted as the norm.
3. You cannot make someone love you! You can love anyone you choose to, heap upon them every effort to win favor and misread the acceptance of your intentions as love. But, love is love. It can't be taken by force or bought at any price. It must be given freely; without strings, reservations or exceptions.
This will be misunderstood I'm sure. I don't care. Read rule #1. I spent a lot of years making, or should I say trying to make others happy. I cannot do that!!! I am what I am. I am a Rat Bastard at times. I freely admit it. A friend of mine and I established an organisation this past weekend celebrating the Bitches and Rat Bastards among us! Membership by application and appointment only.
So, with this new outlook, things have never seemed more positive for me. I'm still broke, that will change in time. I still love my work, that I don't think that will ever change. And I am still getting older. Unless they crack that space time thingy, it will continue to be so, I hope.
Life is so good right now and the promise of tomorrow is better every day!
Let me explain if I can; I have found freedom and happiness and it's funny that they are walking along hand in hand. It's funny because I've searched for either of them for years but have never been introduced as of yet. Maybe it's turning 52 a while back or just the fact that I don't take life as seriously as I did a few years ago.
This is a high water mark for me. It's always been stay as focused as you can, usually not very well, go beyond expectations and deliver beyond any promise made. That takes it's toll on you after a lifetime and you finally reach a point of no return. A point of just saying I can no longer make the thing work anymore. I am losing a big part of me just trying to live! And there are not that many years left for me to live!
Regrets? Oh hell yes! I have a stack of them, and it pisses me off to think that I can never replace those with some sort of effort to rectify them. I don't need to go into specifics, it's sufficient for the moment to just say they exist. And they growl at me from time to time saying "Hey boy, how'd that work out for ya?" Knowing the answer is "Not to good."
Well, last week I realized that I need to have a little more me time. I have 3 steadfast rules for living that I pass on to others when they have problems; they are:
1. You cannot make someone happy. I'm not talking about telling a joke or being light hearted and jovial, I mean, you cannot be responsible for the lifetime joy of another human being! Happiness is elusive and runs and hides with whatever emotional spams hits another. We do what we can to be happy and cheerful to others, but we cannot make them happy.
2. You cannot make someone healthy. Not talking about curing diseases here, chronic health conditions exist and must be lived with, managed or accepted as the norm.
3. You cannot make someone love you! You can love anyone you choose to, heap upon them every effort to win favor and misread the acceptance of your intentions as love. But, love is love. It can't be taken by force or bought at any price. It must be given freely; without strings, reservations or exceptions.
This will be misunderstood I'm sure. I don't care. Read rule #1. I spent a lot of years making, or should I say trying to make others happy. I cannot do that!!! I am what I am. I am a Rat Bastard at times. I freely admit it. A friend of mine and I established an organisation this past weekend celebrating the Bitches and Rat Bastards among us! Membership by application and appointment only.
So, with this new outlook, things have never seemed more positive for me. I'm still broke, that will change in time. I still love my work, that I don't think that will ever change. And I am still getting older. Unless they crack that space time thingy, it will continue to be so, I hope.
Life is so good right now and the promise of tomorrow is better every day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)