I had a dream.....

I had a dream this past week. It was a bit unnerving and somewhat surreal and it's the first time I have had a dream like this. I dreamed about my Dad. He left us 10 years ago next week but he is still here with me. He is in my head and I can still here his voice. Not literally mind you; but figuratively.

My dream was strange because when I woke up, I was very sad and missing my Dad greatly. We were talking like we used to do. I was helping him with, of all things, an air conditioner! Maybe it was because mine was broken and it was extremely hot and humid in here. I just remember him wanting to buy an air conditioner because his was broken. I was helping him do this. We were walking along, I had my arm around his shoulder, helping him along and was so happy to be with him. I wish that dream had not ended so soon. I remember giving him a hug, not wanting to let him go and telling him I loved him.

Was my Dad perfect? Far from it. He was flawed as I am. But he taught me, in his own way, to be who and what I am. Could he have done it better? I can't answer that. Do I wish he had? In some respects, yes. But then I would be a different person and I don't think I would like me much then.

All I can say, is L.J. is greatly missed by me. My love of music, my work ethic, most of my mechanical skills, the ability to see potential in things, and a whole list of other things that I can do are a result of his influence. My thoughts are mine but his influence is there, we both believed that there is no excuse for not working for what you get. Lazy is a disgusting trait that we despised. However, if there was a hard way of getting from point A to B, L.J. would be the first to blaze that trail! Hell! Rube Goldburg could have learned from him! But he was my Dad and I still love him!

I really do miss you now and wish that I could have really given you that hug that I dreamed of this past week. Maybe the sadness will go away in time, or maybe it's the first time in 10 years I have actually let life catch up with me to where I can feel something. Well, I feel sad now, I don't like it, but it's better than not feeling anything at all I suppose.